Pocket Dispatch: Barista Rights
Pop culture themed coffee bar. Barista appears frustrated so many people are there ordering coffee. The mood is studious—people come here for the calm environment because it’s the kind of calm environment where they like to work: alternative music, alternative fashion, alternative lifestyles.
But the rules are strict. The unstated ones are to bring a screen for doing something. It is not important what you do as long as it illuminates your face.
Another rule is to never complain about the service, even if and especially when it is poor. This is often because the baristas lead alternative lifestyles and honestly they kind of have a lot going on right now.
Some of the explicitly stated rules are to not make anyone feel unsafe. Although “safe” and “unsafe” are not defined terms and it is not clear why safety would be any more important in a pop culture themed cafe than elsewhere, if you do feel unsafe it is important to notify a staff member with an alternative haircut who is frustrated to be making so many coffee drinks and has a lot going on right now.
It is also not stated or suggested what measures the staff will take in the event a customer reports feelings of unsafety, but based on the proliferation of cheeky signs it is reasonable to expect it may involve a new small sign in a dedicated stand on the service counter at some point.
The perpetrator of feelings of unsafety may also be asked to stop, or leave, or may lose WiFi privileges.
At any rate feeling safe at the pop culture themed cafe is very important.
So is the quality of the coffee, which, not that you asked, is single origin from Honduras today. You might be more interested in our sweeter offerings, though, but please refer to the sign next to the register that clearly states we do not have almond milk so please do not ask.
Tipping is hot and sexy, so please don’t forget to tip.